Two is not a pattern. And other things I learned welcoming baby #3. "Two is not a pattern," that's what my midwife told me. She was right. Sweet baby Emilyn tricked us more than once. Thank you, Marcus, for driving us to those back-to-back trips to the birth center that weren't quite active labor. She baked longer than her brothers (one arrived timely on his due date, and the other had a one day "late" arrival). As many of you know, we welcomed our first son in June 2015 naturally, at home with our midwife. Then two years later, almost to the day, we welcomed our second son at the same home with the same midwife and support. (Links to their stories at the end of this post.) Last November we found out we were unexpectedly expecting baby #3! Beyond the shock of the news, the pregnancy itself was quite different than the other two, which was my first clue that this HAD to be a GIRL. :) We also moved in 2017, which meant the possibility of birthing at the same address, well, wasn't an option! Can you imagine that conversation? "Umm, hello. Yes, I know I sold you my house two years ago, but I really want to have my baby here. You see, it's where I have all my babies." "New" city. New home. New birth. Moving back to my childhood hometown meant that we'd also need to find a new midwife and be open to a different birth location. After discovering that we were out of the service range of home birth for our birth center of choice, we decided to pursue the option of birthing at the birth center. Logistically, this sounded a lot easier too, knowing that if labor began when the boys (ages 4 and 2) were asleep they could simply stay asleep while a relative came to our house to be with them, and we left to go have a baby! At first, to be honest, this was hard to get used to! After having our boys with my midwife Sherry, it was hard for me to mentally and emotionally detach and reattach to a new midwife (in my case, midwives) and to the idea of birth not being in my home. Our first house in Houston holds a very special place in my heart for many reasons besides the five years that we lived there - the biggest two being that I birthed our boys there! My first two pregnancies were smooth and both boys were big! J was 10lb. 2oz. and C was 9lb. 10oz. I wasn't expecting anything to be too different the third go-around. Unexpected News. Time for Waiting and Praying. At our 20 week appointment I was really excited, not only because we were halfway there with the pregnancy, but we'd also decided we would find out the gender at the anatomy scan. I mean, should I say, we'd confirm the gender? Ha! I was certain this one was a girl, and I'd been correct on guessing the gender of our two boys before it was confirmed, too! (Don't remind me that my odds were 50/50.) We got the confirmation. Definitely a girl. She was proud to show us! Yay! Now I could start visualizing us as a family of five, the pink, the bows, the shopping trips, painting our nails together, and one day giggling about boys... Later that evening I got a call that there was something they had seen on the scan called ABS, Amniotic Band Syndrome. My instructions were not to worry. It wasn't causing trouble, it wasn't stringy, it was thick, it was connected on both ends, but that we needed to do another scan in eight weeks to check. Oh, and don't Google it. I hung up the phone and... You called it. I Googled. "Amniotic band syndrome is a rare condition caused by strands of the amniotic sac that separate and entangle digits, limbs, or other parts of the fetus. This constriction can cause a variety of problems depending on where strands are located and how tightly they are wrapped." I think even in the moment I kept a calm, hopeful heart in the midst of it. The images are Google are heartbreaking, but that wasn't going to happen to us. What I wanted to know were the facts. How is ABS diagnosed? What do you do about it? What are the possible outcomes - both good and bad? It's probably going to be fine, I told myself. They would've told me to worry if I needed to worry. During that eight weeks of waiting, I did a lot of random Google questioning. I did a lot of praying. I did a lot of holding it in and staying as plain as I could in my answers when people asked how I was feeling (meaning, "Got morning sickness?") when all I could really think about was... She's supposed to be safe, right? The womb is where you don't worry about anything except what you eat and the old wive's tales about which side to sleep on is the safest and keeps them in the best birthing position. (It's the right side.... just kidding... sleep however you can. Except for my peace of mind, right was the only way I could sleep). She was supposed to be safe. Except my womb wasn't safe. There was something in there that could harm her, with an unknown cause, unknown variables... I was reminded, I am not in control. God is. Those two amazing, beautiful boys with birth stories I love to share? That was God. They belong to Him. We're just the parental stewards, the arrow aimers... the so- blessed-to-be-part-of-the-process parents. And this unexpected, beautiful girl kicking and fluttering only my right gut, never the left (I have no idea why!) well, she was God's, too. Getting Good News Eight long weeks later at our next scan, we saw her. It was so good to see her again. I mean, during this in between time we'd been hearing her heart beat, and I'd been feeling her move. But to see her. To see both hands and both feet. Relief. The band appeared smaller, measuring less than an inch. At this point in the pregnancy she was large enough that she'd just push it out of her way, or it would literally stretch as she pushed on it while continuing to grow. Another thing I'd come across while researching medical journals and info about ABS was that if the band was going to cause a problem, it would've most likely caused it before the first trimester... as in... before we even knew it was there. That's when another waive of God's control and God's perfect provision washed over me. Before we even knew the need she had, He knew. He protected her in the womb. Psalm 139 40 Weeks Pregnant and Still Waiting When her due date came and went, I was beyond ready to stop being pregnant! We had an appointment that Thursday, and I was sad to hear we weren't even dilated. Marcus had woken up with a stomach bug that day and wasn't feeling that great. I confess that I thought, very empathetically (I'm being sarcastic), "You always do this when I need you!" Then Friday morning came, and I had the stomach bug. I felt so yuck that it immediately cured me of my lack of empathy. (Love you, honey!) That afternoon I was worried I might be running a fever and with on and off again contractions my midwife Naomi said it was a good idea to come in to let her check on me and baby. Thankfully, I was not running a fever. Our oldest, Jaxson, went to most of my prenatal appointments with me, even ones Marcus wasn't able to go to. He was so disappointed when we didn't come home with a baby that day. Friday night I can't even remember the exact details of the drama that evening, but we made another trip back to the Birth Center that night when contractions seemed to be intensifying, only to have them stop when we arrived at the birth center, and to wait a few hours before heading back home... for them to start up again! I also had a couple IVs to help bring my fluids up since I wasn't really able to eat much that day. 4 a.m., Saturday morning With neither of us having eaten in a couple days (that yucky bug!) and with me sarcastically contemplating aloud that I'd be heading down the street to the med center for the hospital to get this baby out if I didn't have her soon ;P Naomi recommended that we get a hotel. That way we'd be close by, and instead of driving our exhausted selves home, we could just rest. The first two hotels we tried were completely booked. Cra. Then we found one. Slept for two hours (but it felt like longer to me, that's how tired I was). 6 a.m., Saturday morning I woke up around 6 a.m. and thought, more confidently this time, that it had to be labor. With Caden, I knew it was real labor when the contractions were so painful that I was saying, "Owww" out loud. With Emilyn, all my on and off again contractions had had a level of intensity that made me hurt. This girl had a way of making me doubt my ability to recognize what was really real labor even has someone who's been here before twice. Even as we left the hotel to grab a quick Starbucks breakfast before going to the birth center I wasn't fully assured. Could these intense contractions end just like the ones from the night before? But I was desperate enough that we worded the text to our midwife team like, "Heading to the birth center" instead of asking if we should meet them there! Ha! By the time we got to the center contractions were pretty strong, so I hopped out of the car and had several right there in the parking lot. A couple random people were walking their dogs through the business complex. One girl - I guess recognizing that I was in labor - asked me if I was OK. I just hollered over, "Third baby and that's the birth center; they're on their way." This had to be it. Right? Baby by Lunchtime Sweet Emi was still posterior (meaning her back was to my back) which is not good. We ended up using the Rebozo sifting method to get her to rotate. Thank you, student midwife Phoebe! By then, I was at 9cm and ready to get in that birth pool (more about why they are so awesome in the boys' stories below). During this labor I really really wanted Marcus to just talk to me during each contraction. I remember yelling at him, "Talk!" I also remember just praying Jesus' name because that's all I could say during those last few intense moments. And then she was here! We took a couple hours to rest, eat, and enjoy her. Then mom brought her two big brothers to come meet her! Emilyn was born 12:18p.m. weighing 8lb. 12oz. and 20in. long. I felt such relief when she was born. "She's here. She's finally here." The baby that God planned for this specific time. For our family. I got to hold her as we sat in the pool together; there has been nothing like it and will be nothing like it. This time I cut the cord. (If I remember right, Marcus cut Caden's). Afterwards, we were all curious if we'd be able to see the band on the amniotic sac, but even after careful searching the midwives couldn't find it. Whirlwind Weeks The past seven weeks have flown by. Her big brothers love her. J picks out her bow each day and C always says, "It's OK" when she cries in the car. I'm convinced we probably won't sleep again. Ever. And being outnumbered does lead to mayhem of some kind daily. But we are embracing grace in the crazy. Our first son's birth story on the blog here: 8 Reasons Why I Loved Home Birth Our second son's birth story on the blog here: 8 Reasons Why I Loved Home Birth the Second Time Around).
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The Diagnosis: Your Son Needs a Spica Cast After our two-year-old Jaxson's freak trip and fall that resulted in a fractured femur, we are finally nearing the end of his seven weeks in a spica cast. To say this journey has been one of the hardest seasons of our lives is an understatement. I survived week one with the help of Nana and my husband who stayed home from work to help. The first two or three weeks were the worst. Week four and five we got in a new groove. And weeks six and seven have been more like daily, "How long is this going to take?" countdowns. I felt so much encouragement and got good ideas from blogs I found by googling :) that I thought I am now in the place I can share from our spica cast journey to help others as well. So if you're reading this because you googled it, too... You're not the only one. I promise it will get easier. And thank God bones can heal and the cast won't stay on forever. Diapering with a Spica Cast: The 3 Steps to Success 1. Big Diaper 2. Little Diaper 3. Bladder Leak Pads Diapering was by far one of our biggest challenges. We would place a smaller size diaper inside the cast "hole" by tucking it inside. Then place/seal a larger diaper on the outside of the cast. This didn't always protect from leaks, so we pretty much kept him on a towel wherever he was... the stroller, the couch, on someone's lap... to make clean up after leaks easier. We also found a few weeks in, that applying a Poise pad for bladder leaks inside the smaller diaper was helpful for more absorption. Blow outs were another story. Thankfully we only lived through a few of them, but when #1, or worse, #2, gets into the cast it's not only yuck but difficult to fix. Wipes can only do so much. At the beginning, diaper changes were a nightmare for J. This faded over time, but after one of the worst blowouts we literally had to (because he had a waterproof liner inside his cast) use a spray bottle of water to try to spray out the poo explosion. Normal Diaper Changes We used phrases like "Tucking Time" and "Tummy Time" for the diaper changing process. He would lay on his back and we'd talk or distract him with a toy (or sometimes even baby brother). Then we'd do "tucking time" for the front, and say "Let's roll over for tummy time" when tucking in the diaper from the back, etc. There was one time that he tooted on me during a change, so I made "Don't you toot on me!" my go-to line if he needed cheering up during a change. :) He also dealt with severe constipation in those first couple of weeks. So we increased fluids, did half coconut water (for the magnesium) and half apple juice, and I even had to put in a suppository a couple of times. Then There's Entertaining a Child with a Spica Cast... This is where we got creative! (Thanks for a gift-a-day for a week box from Mimi and Papa in New Mexico, J had small new toys that we spread out for a while.) A few of his favorites were a magnetic fishing set, educational DVDs - including a train documentary from Half Price Books (thank you, Nana), and alphabet magnets. He also got a personalized lap desk from our friend Sarah (Anchored by Grace Designs). We also found a cool bean bag chair - the Big Joe - from Walmart for easy, comfortable sitting. And we can't forget the yard sale win of the century - the $7 basketball hoop. Or as J calls it, the "baska-ball player." I almost forgot; we also had to get him a booster seat because there's no way the angle of the spica cast would allow him to continue in his normal car seat. And they only had a girly, pink flower one - but I'm not telling him. Let the Kid Wear Shoes It's been hard getting him to change t-shirts (he goes from one Cars shirt to the other), but he has often requested socks, which always leads to a request for shoes. So J often got to don his Crocs and tennis shoes. Although he was very disappointed when his right rain boot wouldn't go on over the cast. (He loves his boots. We found ours at the Just Between Friends sale.) "Normal Life" Cabin fever can kick in quick! So we tried to get back to normal life activities as soon as we were comfortable. J loves going to Walmart and H-E-B (raising him right!) so we'd bring daddy along to push him in his stroller while I would handle the grocery cart, the baby, and the actual shopping! We also returned to church, where we both traded off who would stay with J in the nursery (should the need to diaper change arise). This gave J the chance to boss other people around for a bit. :) Baths with a Spica Cast You can't bathe with a cast. Sorry. We just used those throw-away bath wipes and did our best. I also made it a habit to put essential oils on his feet every evening before bed time. Spica Cast Removal We can't wait for Thursday. We'll be sure to update you on how that goes. We've watched a couple cast-removal videos on YouTube with him to talk about the loud saw that cuts the cast off and the way it tickles. He's been saying "Jaxson walk" and "four days" all day. Tomorrow it's only three to go. Hooray! UPDATE - The Spica Cast is Gone!The day Jaxson had his cast removed was a little traumatic. He had to have an X-Ray both before and after the removal. The saw they used to cut it off was a little loud for him. Both his legs had atrophied, and everything was stinky from not being bathed in weeks. But J was so glad to have it off! We took him to Chick-fil-A drive-through for a celebratory chocolate milk. The next several days he still mostly crawled around the house. It took time for him to build his strength and to trust his legs again. We are thankful he did not end up needing physical therapy. We used an outdoor scooter (that you sit on and push) in the house –– so soon he was pushing along wherever he wanted to go! I took a short video on my Instagram just 5 weeks after the cast was removed while he was running at the park. There's nothing quite like the pitter patter of little feet is there? UPDATE - Three Years After a Broken Leg
I recently got a copy of Loving my Lot for my birthday! Yay! In the section titled, "Eating to Honor God" something really got me so I thought I'd share a peek from my journal. Make sure, in eating, that avoiding certain foods is not out of fear of disease, but motivated to do all for the glory of God. I confess I have been motivated by fear, self-shamed when I failed, and self-willed to try harder (depending more on myself) the next time. This is idolatry. Forgive me, Lord. I have taken documentaries, books written by intelligent people, and made a new set of laws for myself. But these laws are serving the kingdom of fear and enslaving me to impossible standards. I can't always eat grass-fed. I am not able to not ever eat wheat... or food from a box. Does it mean I quit? No. I can take what I've learned about what encourages optimal health and do my best - not his best, not her best, but my best. I can take steps in the right direction without penalizing myself with fear of disease. My soul is secure. My eternal destiny is set and sealed. My life, regardless of my choices, is held by my Sovereign God because of the grace of Jesus. So I'm glad not to be in charge or in control. The results are not left up to me. This is a relief. With a little help from Philippians 3 and 4... In all things I rejoice. I press on to the upward call of God in Christ Jesus, holding on to what I've attained remembering my citizenship is not here. It's in heaven, and He will transform this lowly body to be like His glorious body by the same power that enables Him to subject all things to Himself. Therefore {this is why} I stand firm, rejoicing always, letting my reasonableness be known to all, with my heart and mind guarded by the peace of God because I submit all my requests to Him with thanksgiving. So whether you're gluten-free dependent, a Whole30 faithful, or a Plexus fanatic, check your motivations and your thought life around your decisions. Are you motivated by fear? Are you guilting yourself instead of enjoying the occasional special occasion? Aim to do all for His glory and live without fear. You can read Jeanne Harrison's blog here (She's the author of Loving My Lot). We're "EO" people! Essential oils became my go-to when I was limited in the types of medications I could take for sinus congestion while pregnant. I relied on peppermint, eucalyptus, and lavender to get me through! (Thank you office buddies for letting me smell up the place.)
Recent stuffy noses have caused us to research essential oils a little deeper. We'd both heard of thieves as being helpful for sinus issues. So off hubby went to the grocery store to find thieves. The mystery oil that could solve our problems. When he came up empty, we did what most people do - we asked google. Surprise! Thieves isn't one oil, its several essential oils mixed together. Who knew? We didn't. The legendary history of thieves is believed to date back to the bubonic plague, where doctors and robbers used it. It's pretty interesting. You can check it out here. THIEVES RECIPE 8 drops clove 7 drops lemon 4 drops cinnamon 3 drops eucalyptus 2 drops rosemary HOW TO USE THIEVES -Put oil mixture in water in diffuser and enjoy -Use carrier oil (such as almond) and apply a few drops to feet and cover with socks. -Add baking soda or water to oil mixture and use as household cleaner BENEFITS OF THIEVES: Promotes healthy immune function Natural alternative all-purpose cleaner Clean scent, or in my opinion, smells like Christmas What's your favorite EO? How do you use oils around your home? |
PodcastListen to devotionals shared at FBCSA MOPS on Kennan's Podbean Podcast channel here.
Marken Media Co.Marcus & Kennan own Marken Media Co. serving the multimedia needs of small businesses. Known by the #devinecolorwall, we strive to foster a space for the community to CREATE • COLLABORATE • CELEBRATE.
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KennanI'm a lover of words. Sometimes I edit, cook, craft, or sing. I'm also a wife and mom. Categories
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