Two is not a pattern. And other things I learned welcoming baby #3. "Two is not a pattern," that's what my midwife told me. She was right. Sweet baby Emilyn tricked us more than once. Thank you, Marcus, for driving us to those back-to-back trips to the birth center that weren't quite active labor. She baked longer than her brothers (one arrived timely on his due date, and the other had a one day "late" arrival). As many of you know, we welcomed our first son in June 2015 naturally, at home with our midwife. Then two years later, almost to the day, we welcomed our second son at the same home with the same midwife and support. (Links to their stories at the end of this post.) Last November we found out we were unexpectedly expecting baby #3! Beyond the shock of the news, the pregnancy itself was quite different than the other two, which was my first clue that this HAD to be a GIRL. :) We also moved in 2017, which meant the possibility of birthing at the same address, well, wasn't an option! Can you imagine that conversation? "Umm, hello. Yes, I know I sold you my house two years ago, but I really want to have my baby here. You see, it's where I have all my babies." "New" city. New home. New birth. Moving back to my childhood hometown meant that we'd also need to find a new midwife and be open to a different birth location. After discovering that we were out of the service range of home birth for our birth center of choice, we decided to pursue the option of birthing at the birth center. Logistically, this sounded a lot easier too, knowing that if labor began when the boys (ages 4 and 2) were asleep they could simply stay asleep while a relative came to our house to be with them, and we left to go have a baby! At first, to be honest, this was hard to get used to! After having our boys with my midwife Sherry, it was hard for me to mentally and emotionally detach and reattach to a new midwife (in my case, midwives) and to the idea of birth not being in my home. Our first house in Houston holds a very special place in my heart for many reasons besides the five years that we lived there - the biggest two being that I birthed our boys there! My first two pregnancies were smooth and both boys were big! J was 10lb. 2oz. and C was 9lb. 10oz. I wasn't expecting anything to be too different the third go-around. Unexpected News. Time for Waiting and Praying. At our 20 week appointment I was really excited, not only because we were halfway there with the pregnancy, but we'd also decided we would find out the gender at the anatomy scan. I mean, should I say, we'd confirm the gender? Ha! I was certain this one was a girl, and I'd been correct on guessing the gender of our two boys before it was confirmed, too! (Don't remind me that my odds were 50/50.) We got the confirmation. Definitely a girl. She was proud to show us! Yay! Now I could start visualizing us as a family of five, the pink, the bows, the shopping trips, painting our nails together, and one day giggling about boys... Later that evening I got a call that there was something they had seen on the scan called ABS, Amniotic Band Syndrome. My instructions were not to worry. It wasn't causing trouble, it wasn't stringy, it was thick, it was connected on both ends, but that we needed to do another scan in eight weeks to check. Oh, and don't Google it. I hung up the phone and... You called it. I Googled. "Amniotic band syndrome is a rare condition caused by strands of the amniotic sac that separate and entangle digits, limbs, or other parts of the fetus. This constriction can cause a variety of problems depending on where strands are located and how tightly they are wrapped." I think even in the moment I kept a calm, hopeful heart in the midst of it. The images are Google are heartbreaking, but that wasn't going to happen to us. What I wanted to know were the facts. How is ABS diagnosed? What do you do about it? What are the possible outcomes - both good and bad? It's probably going to be fine, I told myself. They would've told me to worry if I needed to worry. During that eight weeks of waiting, I did a lot of random Google questioning. I did a lot of praying. I did a lot of holding it in and staying as plain as I could in my answers when people asked how I was feeling (meaning, "Got morning sickness?") when all I could really think about was... She's supposed to be safe, right? The womb is where you don't worry about anything except what you eat and the old wive's tales about which side to sleep on is the safest and keeps them in the best birthing position. (It's the right side.... just kidding... sleep however you can. Except for my peace of mind, right was the only way I could sleep). She was supposed to be safe. Except my womb wasn't safe. There was something in there that could harm her, with an unknown cause, unknown variables... I was reminded, I am not in control. God is. Those two amazing, beautiful boys with birth stories I love to share? That was God. They belong to Him. We're just the parental stewards, the arrow aimers... the so- blessed-to-be-part-of-the-process parents. And this unexpected, beautiful girl kicking and fluttering only my right gut, never the left (I have no idea why!) well, she was God's, too. Getting Good News Eight long weeks later at our next scan, we saw her. It was so good to see her again. I mean, during this in between time we'd been hearing her heart beat, and I'd been feeling her move. But to see her. To see both hands and both feet. Relief. The band appeared smaller, measuring less than an inch. At this point in the pregnancy she was large enough that she'd just push it out of her way, or it would literally stretch as she pushed on it while continuing to grow. Another thing I'd come across while researching medical journals and info about ABS was that if the band was going to cause a problem, it would've most likely caused it before the first trimester... as in... before we even knew it was there. That's when another waive of God's control and God's perfect provision washed over me. Before we even knew the need she had, He knew. He protected her in the womb. Psalm 139 40 Weeks Pregnant and Still Waiting When her due date came and went, I was beyond ready to stop being pregnant! We had an appointment that Thursday, and I was sad to hear we weren't even dilated. Marcus had woken up with a stomach bug that day and wasn't feeling that great. I confess that I thought, very empathetically (I'm being sarcastic), "You always do this when I need you!" Then Friday morning came, and I had the stomach bug. I felt so yuck that it immediately cured me of my lack of empathy. (Love you, honey!) That afternoon I was worried I might be running a fever and with on and off again contractions my midwife Naomi said it was a good idea to come in to let her check on me and baby. Thankfully, I was not running a fever. Our oldest, Jaxson, went to most of my prenatal appointments with me, even ones Marcus wasn't able to go to. He was so disappointed when we didn't come home with a baby that day. Friday night I can't even remember the exact details of the drama that evening, but we made another trip back to the Birth Center that night when contractions seemed to be intensifying, only to have them stop when we arrived at the birth center, and to wait a few hours before heading back home... for them to start up again! I also had a couple IVs to help bring my fluids up since I wasn't really able to eat much that day. 4 a.m., Saturday morning With neither of us having eaten in a couple days (that yucky bug!) and with me sarcastically contemplating aloud that I'd be heading down the street to the med center for the hospital to get this baby out if I didn't have her soon ;P Naomi recommended that we get a hotel. That way we'd be close by, and instead of driving our exhausted selves home, we could just rest. The first two hotels we tried were completely booked. Cra. Then we found one. Slept for two hours (but it felt like longer to me, that's how tired I was). 6 a.m., Saturday morning I woke up around 6 a.m. and thought, more confidently this time, that it had to be labor. With Caden, I knew it was real labor when the contractions were so painful that I was saying, "Owww" out loud. With Emilyn, all my on and off again contractions had had a level of intensity that made me hurt. This girl had a way of making me doubt my ability to recognize what was really real labor even has someone who's been here before twice. Even as we left the hotel to grab a quick Starbucks breakfast before going to the birth center I wasn't fully assured. Could these intense contractions end just like the ones from the night before? But I was desperate enough that we worded the text to our midwife team like, "Heading to the birth center" instead of asking if we should meet them there! Ha! By the time we got to the center contractions were pretty strong, so I hopped out of the car and had several right there in the parking lot. A couple random people were walking their dogs through the business complex. One girl - I guess recognizing that I was in labor - asked me if I was OK. I just hollered over, "Third baby and that's the birth center; they're on their way." This had to be it. Right? Baby by Lunchtime Sweet Emi was still posterior (meaning her back was to my back) which is not good. We ended up using the Rebozo sifting method to get her to rotate. Thank you, student midwife Phoebe! By then, I was at 9cm and ready to get in that birth pool (more about why they are so awesome in the boys' stories below). During this labor I really really wanted Marcus to just talk to me during each contraction. I remember yelling at him, "Talk!" I also remember just praying Jesus' name because that's all I could say during those last few intense moments. And then she was here! We took a couple hours to rest, eat, and enjoy her. Then mom brought her two big brothers to come meet her! Emilyn was born 12:18p.m. weighing 8lb. 12oz. and 20in. long. I felt such relief when she was born. "She's here. She's finally here." The baby that God planned for this specific time. For our family. I got to hold her as we sat in the pool together; there has been nothing like it and will be nothing like it. This time I cut the cord. (If I remember right, Marcus cut Caden's). Afterwards, we were all curious if we'd be able to see the band on the amniotic sac, but even after careful searching the midwives couldn't find it. Whirlwind Weeks The past seven weeks have flown by. Her big brothers love her. J picks out her bow each day and C always says, "It's OK" when she cries in the car. I'm convinced we probably won't sleep again. Ever. And being outnumbered does lead to mayhem of some kind daily. But we are embracing grace in the crazy. Our first son's birth story on the blog here: 8 Reasons Why I Loved Home Birth Our second son's birth story on the blog here: 8 Reasons Why I Loved Home Birth the Second Time Around).
6 Comments
Holley Stuart
8/11/2019 09:49:01 pm
Oh this is beautiful! I absolutely love hearing of others birth stories!
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12/20/2022 06:59:08 pm
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1/7/2023 11:39:59 pm
100 tl deneme bonusu veren siteleri öğrenmek istiyorsan tıkla.
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6/29/2023 07:58:43 pm
En iyi aksaray ilan sitesi burada. https://aksaray.escorthun.com/
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PodcastListen to devotionals shared at FBCSA MOPS on Kennan's Podbean Podcast channel here.
Marken Media Co.Marcus & Kennan own Marken Media Co. serving the multimedia needs of small businesses. Known by the #devinecolorwall, we strive to foster a space for the community to CREATE • COLLABORATE • CELEBRATE.
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KennanI'm a lover of words. Sometimes I edit, cook, craft, or sing. I'm also a wife and mom. Categories
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